Dear You

Dear You,

I’ve known you for a few years. I remember the first time I saw you, and I said to myself, “go say hi to her”. And I did, I said Hi to you at the parking lot. I gave you my card, hoping that you’d call me. You didn’t. I didn’t care, no harm in trying.

One day we bumped into each other. You saw me and smiled. I smiled back. So it started. You were a student, your route were similar to mine, so sometimes we bumped into each other, sat together and just talked. I had a crush on you. You knew, but you were not available. I didn’t care, just as long as we’re friends.

It wasn’t easy, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t want to push you. Just go with the flow. I was single, you befriending was good enough. I wanted more than that, but it wasn’t meant to be.

Then you were gone. I was disappointed, but I understood. I moved on. Slowly but surely, I managed to get you out of my mind. I was doing fine without you. I didn’t event think about you.

Earlier this year, I received a missed call. I called back, it was you. “What’s up?”, you asked me. “Nothing,” I replied and said “Why did you call me? Anything I can do for you?”. “Oh nothing, just wondering why a certain someone kept quiet for a long time”. That “certain someone” was me. So it started again. This time, you were single. Fine by me.

For a few months, I was happy. I get text messages from you almost everyday, we talked on the phone a few times a week, we went out for dinners and movies. I was happy. Maybe this is it. This went on for a few months.

Sometimes, when we were alone in the car, stuck in traffic jams, we’ talk about anything. About you, about me, about anything. I would sneak something about “us” here and there, but all I get from you is “can we change the subject?”.

I should have known. Between you and me, there is no “us”. That missed call to me because you were bored. Because you just broke up. You needed me to fill that void, because you were lonely. You only needed me temporarily to keep yourself occupied, until you found a new someone.

The biggest hint would have to be when you promised to watch a movie together. I even bought the tickets in advance because you promised. Surprise, surprise, you cancelled at the last minute, less than two hours before the show. Way to  bring a guy down. I still keep the unused tickets on my wall, as a reminder. Sure, you apologized, that’s cool. I don’t think that apology was sincere though. Why do I think that? Because you only said “sowwy” a few days later, after I texted you to say “Hi”. You just didn’t care. By the way, I feel bad for you. Speech impediment? Can’t pronounce the word “R”? Haha, I’m just being mean.

I guess you found a new someone. Text messages have been slow, not as frequent as it used to be this few months back. You’re not as quick to reply to my text messages. Not picking up your phone, not returning my calls. Just like the “good” old days, huh? Just disappear without a word.

You used me, do not deny this. Bored? Call me to take you out for a movie. Lonely? Never fear, I am just a phone call away. The BEST would have to be when you asked me to pick you up because you had no one else to drive you home. I am nothing but a guy you use when you’re bored and lonely, and also your CHAFFEUR. Touché, girl, touché. You played your game well, using some who likes you for you own advantage. Well, that word should be in the past tense now. I liked you then. Now? Not very much.

Hey, I have something for you. After what you did to me,

you deserve this 😉

You fooled me once, you fooled me twice. Thrice? Ain’t gonna happen.

Aah, feels good to let this out. Good therapy. Bitter? Nah, just pissed. What self respecting man wouldn’t be?

I would still survive. I’d stay away from you for now. Until you’re bored and lonely and want to play again. But I won’t be fooled again. Next round, you be the fool.

About nik anas

Sagittarian Engineer
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4 Responses to Dear You

  1. aishah says:

    whoa… this kind of post don’t usually came from a man.
    it sounds cliche, but (i’d write it anyway); there will be someone better for you..

  2. faruqy says:

    wei ko bengang kat dia, jangan la kutuk those yang tak boleh sebut huruf ‘r’. sedey gua lu tau? haha~

    • nik anas says:

      oh shoot, my bad faruq! haha actually aku hangin dengan cubaan beliau utk menjadi cute dengan ‘baby talk’ masa dia mintak maap tu..

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