Of Horoscopes and Sentaps

Horoscopes. They’re everywhere. Papers, Magazines, Internetz, Android App, iOS App, Blackberry App. You read them? I won’t say I’ve never read them, but suffice to say it would be the last thing I read. Maybe when I’m in the toilet and just want something to read while pinching the loaf. You believe them?

I have nothing against people who read horoscopes. Sometimes I have fun with magic 8 balls too (sometimes I play with my balls, just like any self respecting man would). But don’t let them rule your life, affect your decisions. Ooh, I won’t be compatible with him/her because our zodiacs are different species of animals! Whoa, this person is totally my soulmate because our zodiacs are like Bonnie and Clyde and Beyonce and Jay-Z! You’re just putting walls and expectations that shouldn’t be there. It’s Percaya kepada Qada’ dan Qadar, not Percaya kepada Horoskop. ZING! mungkinkah tersentap dan terkesima? jatuh terduduk dalam posisi tahiyat akhir dan insof? apa reaksi anda?

Those are stars, but what about the Moon? People go crazy when the moon is full. Is there any truth in that? I know Saiyans turn to big ass king kongs during full moon. And Lycans. Maybe the Lunar gravity has something to do with all the craziness that is during full moons.

Enough with the heavenly bodies.

A friend of mine told me people might get the wrong impression of me after reading my blog. I might get a wrong impression of me after reading my posts. Too open? Too generous with cuss words? Too angry? Too perverse?

fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck, fuck.

Sentap? Don’t be.

What I write here is my interpretation of my life and the events occuring around them. I express myself freely, without chains to limit my vocabulary and expression. I may sound harsh in my writings, but that’s just me playing with words. I type better than I can talk. So I may be spewing lines of incomprehensible gibberish booyakasha boombastic words just to sound awesome, and to confuse my readers.

Don’t get me wrong, I do have a potty mouth. But my potty mouth is reserved for general everyday fuck ups, e.g. “pukimak celaka babi anak haram punya burung, berpesta tahi muda mudi kat kereta aku plak!!! HWARGH! bertukar jadi inkredibel HALK!! FFFFFUUUUU!!!”, but you probably never heard me saying that because I only say that in private. Not in public, not in anyone’s hearing field. Not to anyone’s face.

In person, you don’t need to hear my lose my top to know I’m pissed. It’s when I go quiet with a murderous face; now that’s when you should be afraid. Run and hide. RUN. and HIDE. Nah, don’t run, just nurture me with love. I’ll go soft before you know it.

Then there’s this thing called respect. I still have some of that intact, so I know when to control my vocabulary around kids, old fucks (kanak – kanak, jangan panggil warga emas old fuck okay, tak semenggah!), and the laydeeeees. Unless you specifically requested me to talk dirty, that is.

So read everything here with an open mind. I assure you, I am not as vulgar as my writing is informative and educational (huh?). Or maybe I am. Take a shot!

About nik anas

Sagittarian Engineer
This entry was posted in hidup.life. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Of Horoscopes and Sentaps

  1. a friend of mine says:

    sentap dalam hati je..

  2. nik anas says:

    dalam hati yang bahaya; simpan lama – lama boleh jadi lipan bara.

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